Boulders is a hydrated reflective piece that draws the connections between mourning the loss of what we envisioned and the fluid feeling of completion.
As adrienne maree brown offers, “Grief is gratitude,” so the depth of pain and discomfort indicates that it mattered. Boulders is an exploration of the weights we may not know we’re carrying. It’s a breakup song that toggles between feeling enough and crushed. Annabelle writes that, “ this relationship had a huge impact on my life and my sense of self, for better or worse. I unpacked some of the better and some of the worse in this song, offering the excruciating realization that a lot of the dreams I had that related to this person were based on “empty promises.” In a dynamic riddled with scarcity, it was challenging to remain generous. Space as punishment. Emotional labor required but not reciprocated. Imbalance of access to resources and generosity of resources.” It was utterly draining. At the end of it, they felt as though they took off a weighted blanket. Much like the relationship, at the beginning of wearing the blanket, it was soothing, but at some point it became debilitating and confining. Annabelle Freedman ends the song with the lines, “I’m an autobiography of water, I’m curiosity of the conscious” which touches on how each earthling is really just a sophisticated rendition of water’s expression. The end of the song offers relief from the confinement through fluidity.
Boulders was created in collaboration with Smile High and Teddy Roxpin with Rachel White as the vocal producer.
lyrics
Where were you?
Caught up in a fight with time.
Empty promises
Don’t lead to peace of mind
wondering, wondering, wondering
Why I’m carrying boulders.
Let it be, let it be, let it be oh
Let it be over.
We misaligned
Even though we tried so hard
I mobilize
But then again I fall apart
When I see, when I see, when I see
You around me.
Gotta keep, gotta keep, gotta keep
It movin’ and grounded.
And comfort is the parent of complacency
I know this but I still want you right next to me
I can show me all the life I been missin
Falling back in love with who I am again
I saw your walls
Ya took all of my pictures down
What did I expect?
Don’t want me to stay around. (((more detailed/sensory)))
Cannot take, cannot take, cannot take
Any more disappointment.
Gonna make, gonna make, gonna make
This my own moment.
I’m on a roll,
As soon as I can find my pace
I wanna know
How to better grow with grace
In my dreams, in my dreams, in my dreams
I’m already perfect
I believe, I believe, I believe
That I am learning.
And comfort is the parent of complacency
I know this but I still want you right next to me
I can show me all the life I been missin
Falling back in love with who I am again
I’m an autobiography of water
I am curiosity of the conscious
credits
released August 19, 2022
Annabelle Freedman - Writing, vocals, percussion
Smile High - Production, keys, writing
Teddy Roxpin - Drum production
Rachel White - Vocal production and engineering
Delwin Campbell - Mastering
Tori Nicole - Cover art
Artists and friends across Virginia make up the collective 202; here, they work together to create folk-inflected R&B about love and loss. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 28, 2022
